The most profitable business in the world is SEX. You can sell it as many times as you like and you will still have it.
If you want to make an ideal couple, it is necessary that your wife should be liberal and you progressive.
Young lady: "My husband passed away ten days after our marriage."
Landlord: "Lucky Man indeed! Don't live long to suffer."
Professor: "What does separatre boys from the girls?"
Girl Student: "A Diaphram."
"Do you see her face?"
"Yes"
"Do you find anything overthere?"
"No".
"Oh! You Stupid! It looks like it stood to three men atleast"
And do you know that a couple who takes bath just before going to bed, never returns clean.
"Come on baby, Lets live for tonight," he said, making a play.
"Yes, But suppose we survive?"
Teacher: "What is it when i say, "I love you, you love me, he loves me?
Student: "That's One of those triangles where somebody gets shot."
When the young girl was getting married, her mother told her: Do not be frightned my darling,
It only hurts for a little while...."
The following has probably appeared in one of the leading dailies:
"My Husband and i have six sons. can any one suggest as to how we may have a daughter?"
Letters poured in from all over the world. One letters read: If at first you don't succeed, try, try again." Another recommended a special diet. While yet another meerly wrote: Can I Be of any service?"
" Sorry I had no better containers. Bring them back when you come next." And Have you heard about this modern saying. "Every dog has his days" "Yes and some have a weakened too."
The newly born baby was named TARGET.... The only reason being..... Evry one who dropped in had a shot over it.
A bank was closed with in just ten days of its starting the business. Following signboard was then fixed outside the bank: "Opened in Error."
Sergeant(Bursting in during dinner): "Any complaints?"
Timid Tommy: If you please, the meat's funny!"
sergeant: Well then laugh."
The poor bandaged applicant for divorce said: "My wife isn't safe , judge. She's been throwing things at me ever since we got married."
"And now you come for separation after twenty years?"
"Yes, judge, her aim is getting better!"
Adulterly: A right woman and wrong man's place.
And then there was queen Minca who murdered all her eight husbands because each one of them statred loving her seriously.
And do you know marriage is just like a packet of chocolates....you have to buy the whole box just to get one little piece.........
"I take the next turn, don't I?" asked the driver of the car.
A muffed reply came from the back seat, "like hell you do." The hotel clerk told the bridegroom as they were leaving that the bill for the night was one shilling a piece, so the bridegroom handed him six shillings.
Newly married wife: How about a trip around the world?
Fewly married Husband: "let's first have one in bed!"
"Are you the real girl i want?"
"I don't know. But it will cost you rs. 100/= to find the truth."
Girl: Darling What do they inspect of you?"
Soldier: Wheter our pistols are loaded or not."
The fact that sex is so papular because it attratcts everyone.
Jack and jill
went behind the hill
Day and night
Every time was right.
Professor to a 3rd. year student: "Now, tell me what's the difference betwen a snake and a man."
Student: "A snake crawls on his belly while a man crawls on any belly he finds vacant."
Customer: I can't eat such a rotten fish, call the propriter."
Waiter: It's no use, he won't eat it either."
Better late than never,
But can enjoy it ever.
And do you know God gave man fore and he invented fire engines. He gave him love and he invented maiiage.
The Young girl was speaking to her mother. Well mum, the honeymoon turned out so nice that Richard and I've almost decided to get married. A Prostitute is a one who goes through motions without having any conditions. "What every young man should have?" 'An undressed wife?" "Why did you marry that old fact acctress?" "Well you see the advantages are too many..... for instance heat in winter, shade in summer and moving pictures all the year round."
Never put offuntil tomorrow what you can enjoy it again tomorrw. And have you heard about this modern thief who would steel nothing except your wife.
Rosy could't imagine why she was so popular. "Is it my lovely hair?" She asked a friend.
"No."
"Is it my cute figure?"
"No"
"My personality?"
"No".
"Then I give up"
"That's it"
Some girls are music lovers. Other love with out it. A man who gets higher in the night feels lower in the morning. My wife is so jealous of one that she just closes her eyes when we make lov.....because she can't see me enjoying.
Getting baby into bed becomes the most difficult task as soon as she is sixteen years old. After having it once. She sadi oh darling! it's marvellous delicious delight ful and i asked where have you been," and she said "I've been delayed"
A casual entrant to a bar : do you serve women at this bar?" Barman: "No, you have to bring your own."
A lady reader wrote to us, "your joke books are wonderful! Ienjoy them as much as my husband! And then they say an unfaithful husband is like spitting from the house into the street an unfaithful woman is like spitting from the street into the house..........
HAPPY MARRIED COUPLE: A husband out with another man's wife. Three nwely weds were talking to each other abouth their firstnight experiences.
First one: Four times the first night.
Second one: Sixtimes the first night .
Third one: Me, just once..... She was not accustomed to it.
Leslie: " Are you going to Jerry's wedding?"
Suzie: " I didn't even know she was pregnant."
Love and Marriage.
Gotogether like a horse and carriage.
Doctor: "When do you have sex?
Patient : Monday thuesday, friday and sunday."
Doctor: "Well to star with..you should eliminate sexon sunday."
Patient: "I can't Doc. That's my night home,"
" To fill the cavity , please open the mouth still wider," The grat difficulty with a traveling salesman is that when he returns home for the weekend, his wife looks like a customer to him.
First girl: "I cover what men admire"
Second girl: "I cover what men desire".
Third Girl: "You two are fools. I just enjoy everynight."
Many delight more in presents rather than in paying their doubts. "Not really, Joseph! But how did you get an heiress to marry you?
"Smile I gave her 12 roses on her 27th Birthday." Company present to advertising manager: "You reduced advertisting budget for the past year cut our expenses 50 per cent, our profit 75 per cent" And as of right now is cutting you salary 100 per cent."
THE pretty girl entered the doctor's clinic and said, "Well doc, I belive I am losing my mind.....
I just forget what happned to me even five minutes back. And the doctor answered: "take off your clothes, missm and lie down......."
"You senile old bastared.yesterday you left your hearing aid here!"
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